You'd Never Understand...

vent vent vent vent

So a close friend of mine is really starting to get on my nerves. You know my many physical and mental disorders? Well, she doesn't seem to understand them. She wants me to go play kick ball with a bunch of people I don't know, and I tell her I don't want to. She asks why, and I tell her "I just can't" And she starts giving me all this crap about how I never do anything but sit around and that I don't get out enough. Another time I missed a couple of church activities (because of personal issues) and she calls and asks why I'm never there, and I tell her I wasn't feeling good and felt sick. She replies "you're ALWAYS sick! I bet you're faking!"

Uh...no! How can I fake having constant migraines and panic attacks due to the stress of being with so many people? Even the though of going to be with a bunch of people that I KNOW won't even talk to me makes my anxiety rise.

I try to talk to her about how much I can't stand being around so many people, and that my anxiety triggers migraines and a bunch of other crap, and she says, "well then stop worrying about it!" Yeah, um...how can I stop worrying about my number one fear? The whole reason I isolate myself from the world? She just doesn't get how horrifying it is for me to be around people. Even if I know them, if it's more than five, I flip out.

But yeah basically she's just been giving me a bunch of crap about everything I do, even though I can't control it. An athletic, rich, healthy, smart person like her can never understand what it's like to be a girl with asthma, back leg and knee problems, anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and a whole bunch more.

...I just can't see why she doesn't notice the pain I'm constantly in. Despite how hard I try to be happy around my friends, everyone else seems to notice that I'm in pain, but not her. She decides to chuck things at me and "playfully punch me" super hard in the gut to "have fun" But no...it's not fun, it just hurts even more.

So this picture is directed towards her. I doubt she'll ever see this but it feels nice to get it off my chest.

And I used a Poochyena in the pick because she is possibly going to be my new pokesona.

...if anyone read all that crap they get a hug. a BIG hug